Quiet NYE, Plans for Future..

Well, what a surprise… I sat at home on the afternoon of New Years Eve.. Waiting for someone – anyone to call and include me in their celebrations. Given that all my friends know I am without any children, home alone for the first time in 18 years, I was sure that a call would come…………………..

So at 10pm, I got on the motorbike and rode round to “Sunshines” place. I did have plans to come clean and tell him how I feel… But it all went badly….He was laying on the couch watching TV. I asked if he wanted any company and got an abrupt “No”.  Ok- fine, I went home.. Santa had brought me a gym and it had to be assembled, so I figured that this was the time to do it.  I didn’t figure, that I was not in possession of the university degree required to put the thing together !  So I turned up the music ( to drown out the revelry I could hear from round the neighbourhood) , and set to work. Three pieces, 6 screws, and a bucket load of tears later, ( not to mention the touretts syndrome-like language) , I turned in. It was 4am…

So started my New Year.. I spent a few days upset, trying to sort out my direction. Eventually it dawned on me,  it’s the kids absence that has left me in this awful place. I miss them terribly. I have only just noticed that my life -on it’s own – really sucks..

So after the initial mourning period, I’ve gotten my shit together and made plans for the year ahead.. So far, so good.  So we’ll see what happens next – no – wait, I MAKE what I want to happen. I’m taking control this year.

ME !!  Fate, destiny, karma, can ALL have the year off. This is MY time…..

ME…. ME….ME….

( p.s. Still Love my “Sunshine” )

~ by goldfishish on January 4, 2008.